Every passing day brings more and more anxiety. The peak period is finally here. Feeling the immense pressure. Work is piling up. 365 stuff are pending. Been trying to find time to sit down with Rich & Loui to finalise the event committees. Even asked for lunch hours where I will go and meet them however there never seems a suitable time or place. Everyone is busy busy.
My friend's dad was admitted to ICU last weekend. Came out to the normal ward only to return to ICU yesterday. She has been in the midst of switching jobs over to EY as the pay is better. Mind you she has left audit due to the pressure but alas, money is of a great need. If not for the money, I don't think I will be putting up with the pressure and the whole rat race thing.
Sometimes I am afraid that I will lose myself. Yesterday evening just threw the suggestion to my dad about me considering slowing down if I made it to Assistant Manager end of the year. Believe me, you would tear if you were in my shoes. Told me I should not even think of slowing down until I am 35 years old.
My colleague was telling me today that she has never pak tor before cos during her uni days her dad did not allow it. And when she came out to work, she was busy with work. Every night (including Sundays) she is at office. Sick but true. But the competition is really great. I am only praying to God that somehow He will grant me favor with my bosses so I need not work the crazy hours in order to make it to AM. And she mentioned that she is in audit because of her father.
I realise that we are more influenced by our parents more than we think.
My table is full of files and wondering whether there is an end to this. Currently having a slight fever and my nose is leaking. Wishing I could be on MC but alas, that is possible. Wondering whether there is an end to this rat race.....and if there isn't, whether it is all worth it? Is it worth the sleepless nights? Is it worth the anxiety that brews inside?
It's easy to say commit it to God....but I am holding back my tears.
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2 comments:
A lot of things are easier said than done, exactly like you said. And like i replied, one day at a time, laa.. And however much your work piles up to, may it be up to your nose-level or way over your head, hope you know you're always in my prayers. Take care, my overworked-but-still-gorgeous cell leader!
With love and loadsa hugs,
~LynNie. =]
Thanks, gal.....Dying for lunch time when I can go home and take a short nap.
You take it easy too.
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